When I signed up for a Human Sexuality course the same semester that I signed up for the Ceramics course, I joked that I could make models of genitals out of clay and get credit for both courses.
A few days after the semester started, the H.Sex teacher made an offhand comment about wanting a dildo to demonstrate how to put a condom on, but not wanting to spend ridiculous amounts of money on molded plastic. She also said that she asked her son to make one in woodworking shop, but he wouldn’t do it.
Hmm, I thought. My uncle likes woodworking and has a lathe; I wonder what he’d say if I asked him to make a dildo for my teacher. And then I thought, I am taking a ceramics class. I can make one.
So the next day I hung around after class, told her I was taking ceramics, and asked if she wanted me to make a dildo. She thought that would be awesome.
What size? “Average.”
Any particular color? “Funky.”
No thumbnails today since I don’t want to be censored by nannyware. Click through to see photos of the finished product.
The Right Side
The Left Side
I had lots of Ideas for ways to decorate it, but this won out. I thought it would be great to put hearts and flowers and little mating bunnies on it, but I only have the drawing chops for flowers. Several of the guys in the class were somewhat offended– not that I made it, but that I decorated it. Apparently it’s disrespectful or something like that. The teacher was neutral, and the guy who made a teapot with a penis spout thought it was great.
It’s raku fired, and then coated with Duncan brand ceramic sealer to keep the moisture out– have to be able to wipe the lube off, after all. (Many props to the folks at Mile High Ceramics, who didn’t even bat an eye when I whipped it out and asked for something to make it waterproof.)
The Infamous Dildo now resides with Betsy Cairo, PhD of Cryogam Colorado. One of these days I’ll get up there and take a picture of it in its new home.
Perhaps I’ll work on my copulating-bunny drawing skills, and make another one. Unless I can think of something even more disrespectful to put on it, of course.